Aside

Life’s exams: TAKEN

2012 is almost gone, we’re obviously alive and like most people now and then I look back to see what has changed in the last 12 months, how I and the people around me have changed.

I should start with the most significant change: I moved to a new country and I live quite an exciting uni life. Apart from the things I’ve learned about journalism, apart from all the people from around the world that I got to know, I learned that I can cope alone. To be honest it wasn’t such a surprise, but still it gives you a great sense of relief and enthusiasm to go on and do what you think is important in life.

The "Goodbye" party

The “Goodbye” party

Back home I left wonderful people – friends and family, classmates and a lot more. Many of them are now across the world – England, Germany, Holland, Russia… But here there will always be a special feeling of  home, which will bring us together at least for the holidays. The world is so specious when you have friends at a distance!

Meine neue Jungen 😀 ❤

When I went to England, I thought that I’ll completely forget German, as I’ll be speaking only English. This not only didn’t happen, but I improved my German quite a lot – I met so many Germans and with some of them I get along really well.

The completely unknown Romanian girl I met on the airport with whom we share the same destiny <3

The completely unknown Romanian girl I met on the airport! We share the same English destiny ❤

I found out how close we stay to Romanians  and that I understand Romanian, although it has nothing to do with Bulgarian. The Balkan peninsula is a magical place that you have to visit, in order to understand it. Culturally we are different from the rest of the world, but we’re close to one another and you can feel that when you meet other Balkan people abroad.

I learned that I can’t live in two places at one and the same time.  And I’m trying to accept it.

I saw how discriminating the English politic towards Bulgarian and Romanian students is. And I’m happy to say that this may end sooner than we all have expected. Keep your fingers crossed!

The journalism crew from the conference where I met all that great people

The journalism crew from the conference where I met all that great people

I met some great young Bulgarians, studying around the world. They all have the same goal: to make Bulgaria a better place. More than 150 students gathered in Sofia in the beginning of September to discus what should be changed and how. Now they are working on their projects – they are introducing menus for blind people across the country, they are making the education in Bulgaria better and more up to date and they are going to show the world what a beautiful country Bulgaria is (www.oib.bg). Now while I’m at home, I’m more than happy to meet them all! They are really inspiring and hardworking. Luckily, many are planning to come back to Bulgaria after they finish their education and that are great news for our country.

Danny during one of the concerts

Danny during one of the concerts

This would have been a fantastic year, if it wasn’t for one lost. I lost a dear friend. He was just 18 and he fought for his life for 5 years. He had leukemia. The last 6 months of his battle were really intense – we had to find 216 000 Euro for around a month. This is a lot and it’s even more in Bulgaria. However, we did it! He traveled to Germany to have a transplantation. It was one of the moments when you show the world that miracles do happen, if we all stick together. I will never ever be able to say enough of “Thank you”-s to all the artist that took part in our concerts; to the organizers – most of them teenagers; to the people who donated and supported us in every possible way; to my friends who were next to me all the time. The operation, however, was unsuccessful. My friend came back and a month after that he passed away (just a week after my birthday).

It’s funny how someone who you knew for less than a year can take such a large part in your life. I will never forget that and I’ll keep trying to fight, as he did, and to appreciate the little things in life, as he did. Furthermore, as a journalist, I’ll know forever that when you know something for sure and when you see how someone (our lovely government, in the case) tries to change the focus and to draw dividends from something so pure as someone’s fight for life, you should not go with the flow and keep quite of what is going on. We were on the other side and it hurts to see yourself on the first page and to feel as a PR-tool.

– Is there an impenetrable fog? Is this why I can’t see you?

– No, there is no fog….

The black earth has hidden me.

I watered the green grass with my blood

and now I’m hidden from all the enemies. *

Now this doesn’t matter that much. If the outcome of the operation was different, everything would have been different… but right now all that matters to me is that I know that miracles do happen, but so do bad things. Sometimes we can’t do anything about them. We have to accept them. It’s hard, but that’s life.

That’s why my new year resolution is to try not to take control over everything and everyone. It’s impossible to control the world – sometimes things happen without asking for your permission; sometimes your phone rings in the most unexpected time of the day and you just don’t know how to react to what you hear… and you hope it’s a joke; sometimes things go totally wrong and you need months to recover from the inside.

I don’t want to leave anyone who has made it through the end of this post with a bitter taste. I want to wish you a fantastic new year – don’t underestimate the people around you, smile every morning and appreciate all you have! Be brave! And let 2013 be healthy for you and let it bring you all that what you really wish to have in life!

**

*This song was emblematic for me and some of my friends in the days after Danny died. And will be emblematic forever.

**A really special song! This is enough for now.

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